Twitchy Eyes

I'm so tired; this will be a short one.

I'm so disappointed with what I see in the mirror. It's starting to really get to me again. I'll admit I'm not fighting it that hard.

I feel like another couple of inches less would make me happy. 2-3 inches around my stomach, 1 inch everywhere else. I'm not so picky. I get the feeling I need to do more work - more cardio, less eating, more weights, less lazy. The ones who succeed are the ones that sacrifice, right?

I don't want to disappear into my boyfriend though. I'm walking this tightrope right now between who I think I am and who I feel like he wants me to be. I was so grumpy this morning because I dressed up and was happy and then he told me I looked funny so I changed and then he told be that I looked nice. My biggest regret because now the pants I wanted to wear don't match with any other tops so then I feel like I want to go shopping but that's a waste of money and time and I have so much stuff anyway and I should probably pack for our trip but I want to be prepared for everything but I want to- IWANTIWANTIWANTIWANT.